Mormons vs. Jews

Here at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine we have a fun tradition. Every spring, the first and second-year students put together a series of skits that pokes fun at our classes, instructors, and fellow students. Here is the Mormon contribution to the first-year student skit night. Enjoy!

Aye, Cap'n!

As many of you already know, I have been in the process of applying for acceptance into the United States Navy Health Professions Scholarship Program. The gist of it is that, in return for a commitment of four years (after my residency training, so it will actually be closer to eight years), the Navy will pay for my tuition, books, fees, and equipment, in addition to a monthly stipend. Well, after four long months of physicals, paperwork, and eyesight waivers, I was sworn in today as an Ensign in the United States Navy Reserve. Needless to say, I am pretty excited. Not only am I now an officer and a gentleman, but I can talk to people in a salty pirate accent without feeling too embarrassed!



Now, I can hear what many of you are thinking. "Why in Hades, Patrick, are you going back into the military after you fought for an entire year to get out!?" While I could list many compelling reasons (the relative parity in salaries between the military and primary care specialties, exciting travel opportunities, my fascination with "Master and Commander", etc.), it really boils down to one reason. I want people to salute me. Arrogant? Yes. Self-centered? Probably. Pretty dang cool? Most definitely! Besides, Julie says that I'll look pretty hot in uniform, and that's reason enough for me.