There's A Reason It's Called Gross Anatomy

For those of you that I have yet to complain to regarding my upcoming tests, I thought I would share a brief glimpse into the life of a first year med student who is still struggling through his anatomy class. I would like to remind my readers that I am very grateful for this experience; I have the opportunity to examine a human body in excruciating detail. As a matter of fact, I will most likely never do this again, since physicians generally avoid opening chests and skulls just so they can poke around in them and see what everything looks like. However, sometimes there are days that have me wondering if I'm just a little bit crazy. Today was one of those days.

Our schedule for the day had us in the anatomy lab at 10:00 a.m. We picked up where we had left off on Friday and began to trace the pathways of the muscles and nerves in the eye. We had removed the brain on Thursday, discovering an abcess of some kind in the right frontal lobe. I digress, however. Today we had to locate the inferior oblique muscle of the eye. To do this we made an incision immediately inferior to the eye (just underneath the lower eyelid) and began cleaning away the covering layers of fascia and fat. It was while doing this that I realized how disgusting dissections can be. Here I was, pulling stringy, oily gobs of fat out of an eye socket, tossing them into a metal bowl, with my face only inches away from a cadaver that is chock full of formalin and formaldehyde. Just thinking about it now makes me a bit uneasy (although the worst day for grossness wasn't today; that would go to the lab where we removed the lungs and discovered a mush of lung tissue and cadaver juice in the thoracic cavity that we had scoop out using our gloved hands)! To top it off, after spending two-and-a-half hours in the labs, the smell follows us throughout the day. It's in our clothes, hair, and skin. I can honestly say that, while I do enjoy my intimate knowledge of the human body, I will be happy to have this experience behind me. I find that it's similar to my feelings regarding Army Basic Training; it's a good experience that I'm glad I will have under my belt, but I don't want to have to do it again. I do sometimes worry, though. Who wants a doctor that doesn't really like anatomy?

Funny? That Depends!

Well, after posing my question for two weeks to the faithful readers of our blog, the results are finally in. Almost half (44.44%) find me (and my jokes, presumably) to be funny. Slightly more than half (55.56%) find me funny at least some of the time. I am very pleased that not one vote was cast in the "No" category. I can only conclude that Julie was wrong and I was right ;) What's so great about the whole thing is that I can now point to this and say something to the effect of, "Well, my dear, you've been wrong before. Remember the time when you said I wasn't funny?" Of course, family politics may preclude a comment like that from ever escaping my lips, but it's nice to know that the option is there. However, I've recently realized that now the pressure is on to be funny when I post to the blog (at least occasionally). Dang it! What have I gotten myself into?

P.S. - I'd like to give a shoutout to my sister for her acceptance to BYU-Idaho! Go Cougars!

The Un-Comedian

As I was attempting to concoct a suitable topic for my newly established weekly blog, my amazing wife made a comment that gave me pause. To recreate the exact situation that I found myself in, I will quote the exchange which occured only a few minutes ago:

Julie: Have you done your blog yet?
Me: No. I need a good subject. I need a late-night rambling.
Julie: I'm not sure I like late-night ramblings.
Me: Why? Did you hate my last blog?
Julie: No.
Me: Then what's the matter?
Julie: You're not funny. It's not that great of a blog.

I am now faced with a rather disturbing accusation; I am an unfunny nerd (in retrospect, this may explain my lack of readership). Even my wife, who loves me to distraction and protects my fragile ego from earth shattering blows, finds me unfunny enough to mention it to my face. I, however, am not ready to accept this as gospel truth. I sometimes make people laugh and have been known to write a witty story from time to time. I am, therefore, going to put it to a vote. Am I funny, or am I writing jokes and stories that I am the only one laughing at? It is for you to decide. Give me your vote (on the side of the blog) and let me know!

It is Christmas already!

Today is December 22 and I am sitting here waiting for Patrick to finish spinning new born urine (he has volunteered to help in a clinical research) at the hospital. I have come to the realization that Christmas is only 3 days away and I have not done any shopping, nor have I done any baking, nor have I crocheted or made a single thing. I kept thinking I will do it next weekend. Well I put it off and now if I send anything out for Christmas it will arrive well after the Christmas season. Getting Christmas presents done is often a struggle for me. I am notorious for giving unfinished Christmas gifts. My beautiful sisters may recall many gifts of material and patterns where I ran out of time to finish and sometimes even start my well laid out plans for their gifts. I have stopped trying to make gifts as often, all though I am usually able to get atleast a blanket done, or maybe a stocking or two, or sometimes a doilly or two done for christmas. But this year "nada"!! I haven't even managed to make or even buy my loving husband anything yet. I am feeling mighty terrible about this. I do have today and a little bit of time on Monday, when we fly into California. I wish I was already done and just worrying about wrapping and listening to christmas music, relaxing in a clean apartment on this cold Saturday...but that is just a wish... maybe next year! Off to fight the last minute crowds I go!!

Realizations

Once again, I find myself posting to our blog after a long dry spell. It seems that these dry spells are more common of late. We have good reasons; Julie works long hours teaching and I study. There is always room for improvement, however, and I am determined to make some progress in the blogging world. From now on, we will post at least once a week! "How?", you ask. "Your lives are only going to get busier. Julie is now Relief Society President and you, Pat, are starting the really difficult part of the first year of medical school. How are you going to find the time to write something about your life once a week?" My answer to this is really quite simple; late night ramblings (much like this one). They won't make much sense, but they don't have to. As a matter of fact, late night rants and raves are often the most entertaining blogs on the web. So, my one or two dedicated readers, from now on you will be able to read a new blog from Julie and me at least once a week. I only ask that you keep in mind that most of them will be written after I have spent several hours with my head buried in a medical text!

Now, to get to the title of this blog. I realized today that I am a nerd. This may not be news to the world at large, but it is to me. I've always felt that I was studious and rather bright. However, I also felt that I was in touch with what my generation considers fun and cool. I then had two experiences today that have radically changed my assessment. The first came when I read an email from my Clinical and Developmental Anatomy professor to the class at large. He was explaining to us his policy for reviewing the exam one-on-one with him when we return from the break. One of his comments was the following:

"I appreciate that many of you who PASSED may feel you need to see me individually regarding any number of things: your score, how to do better, your score, what happened on the practical, why you thought the esophageal hiatus was the internal anal sphincter, etc. I also know you will understand that my first priority when we come back must be to meet with those students who failed."

I don't know about you, but I found this HILARIOUS! I laughed for at least five minutes. I mean, the whole part about confusing the internal anal sphincter with the esophageal hiatus had me rolling. Who would confuse those two? They're at opposite ends of the body! I was about to call someone (Phil, actually) when I stopped and realized that he probably wouldn't laugh, at least intially. I even imagined how the converation would proceed:

Phil: Hello?
Me: Dude, what's up?
Phil: Do you know what time it is?
Me: Of course. It's like 8:00.
Phil: I'm three hours behind you, dumba**! It's five in the morning here!
Pat: Oops. Sorry. Hey, I have something funny I wanted to tell 'ya.
(I then relate the above story and quote)
Pat: Isn't that hilarious?
Phil: &#$%@@! (Hangs up)

Maybe I'm exaggerating Phil's reaction (he would probably only swear once), and I'm glad I didn't call at 8:00 when I read the email. However, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have thought the email was as funny as I did. The silence after I told the joke would have been funny, though. Unfortunately, I am now one of those people that laugh at obscure jokes about random scientific facts. To quote a blog I frequent, "Oy Vey!"

The second incident occured later in the morning. I took the Bx21 bus to the Morris Park Branch of the New York City Public Library. I wanted to get a book to peruse during the break, something that had nothing to do with medical school and would allow me to relax for a few days. I left the library, book in hand, excited to get back to the apartment and start reading. What was my choice, you ask? "Napoleon: A Biography" by Frank McLynn (it is really good so far, and I'm only 50 pages into it). That's right! For relaxation I chose a 668 page biography of Napoleon Bonaparte. Once again, Oy Vey!

So there it is. I no longer live in the delusion that I am cool. I'm not. I'm a nerd and a geek. I enjoy discussing the finer points of evolution with anyone who will listen and, in the next breath, will launch into a speech about why Abraham Lincoln was, hands down, the best President the United States has ever had. I can't help it. It's who I am. It's who I will always be. Now if you'll excuse me; there's a story about Napoleon that is begging to be read!

Honey I'm Home!

During the week I am blessed to be able to sleep in until about 6:20. Now I should get up earlier than this but I have mastered the 30-45 minute morning routine. I am out the door by 6:50-7:00. I then usually stand at the end of the bed and quietly say Pat a couple of times to get a good bye kiss which is follow by Pat falling back on the pillow and me walking out the door. Pat and I are on totally opposite schedules these days. He is up late and I am up early. Today I came home to find I was locked out...No I didn't leave or lost my keys somewhere... Pat had locked the chain lock. Now this is not the first time I had to stand outside my door and say Pat, Pat until he wakes up to undo the chain, but this time he went right back to bed. I leave my husband sleeping and come home to him sleeping, HMMM. I know I shouldn't and I do remember my father telling me "what goes around comes around", but Pat slept for a little too long and now I can't help myself. I was kind and didn't get too close to his face.

I know he has classes all day and that is mentally draining. I guess, I don't have much sympathy because I have classes all day too...classes with 100 pre-teenagers yelling and screaming through out the day. Maybe I should to be more sympathetic. I'll try again tomorrow. Have a good nap honey!

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

My family has a tradition of getting up early and running a 5-10K every Thanksgiving. I love this tradition and I was going to find a race to join here in NYC, but instead we decided to go see the Macy's parade. My friend Crystal and her husband Joel and their baby Robert stayed the night at our apartment the night before and we all got up early on Thanksgiving to go watch the parade. It was amazing! The balloons were huge! We watched the parade until about 11:30 to try and beat the traffic. Crystal made the Turkey, stuffing, rolls and a pumpkin pie . I made an apple pie (displayed above), Yummy potatoes, Yams, and a Veggie platter, and Pat made a delicious cranberry chutney. It was a wonderful day