Mormons vs. Jews

Here at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine we have a fun tradition. Every spring, the first and second-year students put together a series of skits that pokes fun at our classes, instructors, and fellow students. Here is the Mormon contribution to the first-year student skit night. Enjoy!

Aye, Cap'n!

As many of you already know, I have been in the process of applying for acceptance into the United States Navy Health Professions Scholarship Program. The gist of it is that, in return for a commitment of four years (after my residency training, so it will actually be closer to eight years), the Navy will pay for my tuition, books, fees, and equipment, in addition to a monthly stipend. Well, after four long months of physicals, paperwork, and eyesight waivers, I was sworn in today as an Ensign in the United States Navy Reserve. Needless to say, I am pretty excited. Not only am I now an officer and a gentleman, but I can talk to people in a salty pirate accent without feeling too embarrassed!



Now, I can hear what many of you are thinking. "Why in Hades, Patrick, are you going back into the military after you fought for an entire year to get out!?" While I could list many compelling reasons (the relative parity in salaries between the military and primary care specialties, exciting travel opportunities, my fascination with "Master and Commander", etc.), it really boils down to one reason. I want people to salute me. Arrogant? Yes. Self-centered? Probably. Pretty dang cool? Most definitely! Besides, Julie says that I'll look pretty hot in uniform, and that's reason enough for me.

The Ever Changing Facial Hair

My husband has always had the same or very similar hair cuts, almost always parted and combed to the same side. Although he is not adventureous with his hair do, he has become very experimental with his facial hair.

I hope you enjoy the pictures of his recent experiments as much as I do!

The "No officer, I swear I'm not trying to smuggle fingernail clippers on the airplane" look.

The "I proposed to my wife like this; it's no wonder she said yes" look.

The "This town ain't big enough for the both of us" look.

The "huh" look.

The "Of course I am always BYU approved" look.

The "I'm so glad my wife likes facial hair" look.

The "Doesn't a goatee make me look better in scrubs" look.

And the latest, "Honey, when I get out of medical school, can I buy a Harley to go with my fu-man-chu" look?

Please stay tuned for more facial hair updates. The next one is sure to be a keeper!!

TAGGED

Okay, I have been tagged and my loving husband keeps reminding me that I have been tagged and since I have not posted anything for a while here I go. This one is for you Vania!

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B: Each player answers the questions about themselves. C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago today:
Ten Years ago I was living in Sacramento working in Galt as a bank teller and going to school at American River. It was quite the commute. Other then that I don't remember much.

5 things on my to do list today:
1. Take my mom and sister to Manhattan
2. See the Statue of Liberty
3. Go to the top of the Empire State Building (or the NYC Eiffel Tower to some:) )
4. Start lesson plans for next week.
5. Make brownies or something for church tomorrow.

I enjoy (not in order of importance):
1. Spending time with Patrick (we don't see each other as much as I would like because work and school gets in the way.)
2. Dancing
3. Hiking with my dad, Bird watching, bug collecting or observing, just being in nature.
4. Spending time with my family.
5. Running or exercising (although I don't exercise as much as I would like to or should.)

3 bad habit:
1. Taking on more then I should.
2. Asking "Do you want to .... (house hold chore)?" instead of "Will you (do house hold chore)?" Pat always says "no" if I ask "Do you want to...?" and he responds "yes" when I ask "Will you...?"
3. Spend to much time on the computer when I have other things I need to do. ( Like I am doing now;))

5 places I've lived:
1. Boise- Idaho
2. Elk Grove, CA
3. Provo, UT
4. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
5. Bronx, NY

Jobs I've had:
1. Receptionist
2. Bank Teller
3. BYU Biology 100 TA
4. Union Middle School- Science Teacher
5. Albert Einstein Intermediate School- Science Teacher

5 things people don't know about me
1. I like to draw, crochet and sew but don't have the time to develop these possible talents.
2. I think I have decided to not work next year and go back to school for a masters in ecology, But I am torn because I really do like teaching.
3. I am actually proud of my husband for wanting to join the Navy.
4. For the first time in my life I am not sure what the future holds for me, I hope motherhood, my masters and a PhD, but I don't have as much control over the first one as I would like.
5. I am excited about turning 30 this year.

I tag Malissa, My Mom , and Marcy

My Permanent Valentine!

I have a confession. I really like Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong; I hate spending tons of money on gifts and trinkets for a holiday that is the epitome of shameless commercialization, particularly since we just celebrated Julie's birthday in November, Christmas in December, and my birthday in January. That said, I'm a sucker for the concept of a day spent letting the people you care about know how much they mean to you. I love buying roses, fixing dinner, and doing all the chores around the house that have been piling up because I'm too lazy to get them done (besides, if you do those chores on a special day you get brownie points; do them as they come up and no one notices)! It's even better once you're married. I now have a permanent Valentine that takes care of me, makes me feel special (even when I probably don't deserve it), and loves me to pieces. I love her to distraction, and, in honor of my beautiful Julie on this, our third Valentine's Day together, here are ten reasons I'm glad she's my permanent Valentine:

10. She's beautiful!

9. She doesn't mind my facial hair. This may not seem like that big of a deal. However, take a look at me in the following picture and bear in mind that we're BYU Mormons (where being clean shaven is almost a religion in and of itself) and this picture was taken when I proposed to her at BYU (she said "Yes" when I looked like this)!

8. She makes me laugh. Mostly with her, sometimes at her, but I'm usually laughing at least two or three times a day!

7. She has lofty goals. Yesterday she told me that she "didn't want a husband who is more educated than I am." Her ultimate goal is to earn a PhD and teach at a college or university. I'm all for it, mostly because all our invitations would say "Dr. and Dr. Scarborough"!

6. She's competitive. When I say competitive, I mean "in-your-face-I'm-going-to-win-if-it-means-I-have-to-break-both-your-legs" competitive. This makes for very entertaining game nights!

5. She's gorgeous!

4. She's brilliant and constantly learning. Earlier today she excitedly showed me an article in our current issue of "Natural History" that announced the discovery of the first beetle that has a venomous stinger. She also listens to me as I pontificate on everything from the current political campaigns to why I desperately need a new video game system, asking pointed questions that display her superior grasp of the subject at hand (like, "Will you die if you don't have an XBox 360?"). Who could ask for anything more?

3. She keeps me in line. Whenever I start doing something that smacks of meaningless rebellion or when I'm being cranky, Julie gives me her best teacher look and a quick "Patrick Lloyd", and I'm back on track.

2. Two words. "XBox 360". Yes, despite the poor showing in the recent polls (only 25% voted to buy the XBox), my wife has invoked her superdelegate status to push the tally in my favor! I love you, dear!

1. She is, by far, the most amazing woman I have ever met. She works twelve hours a day trying to teach 6th graders that don't want to be taught, then comes home and puts up with a husband who complains loudly to anyone who will listen (and several people who won't) about how hard medical school is. If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, I don't know what will!

So there you have it. I am madly in love with you, Julie. Happy Valentine's Day!

The Midas Touch!

For the past few days, my brother, a newly minted attorney, has been visting Julie and me here in the Bronx. We've been having a great time hanging out, talking, and playing video games into the wee hours of the morning. I always enjoy my brother's visits, particularly now since we rarely see each other; he and his family live in Las Vegas while Julie and I are on the East Coast. However, this most recent trip will go down in our family history as one of the most appreciated and productive meetings of siblings. Let me explain.

Four years ago I had just begun my studies at BYU. My brother was in his last term and served as my experienced guide through that first stressful semester. One of the pieces of advice he gave me was to open an account on Sharebuilder, a program that allows individuals to buy and sell stock from the comforts of their own home. As an incentive for signing up I received $25 from Sharebuilder (my brother also received $25 for recruiting me). I opened the account and purchased $100 worth of stock in Activision, a video game company. I owned a couple of their games and liked them; that was the extent of my research and careful analysis of the corporation. Anyway, after my initial purchase, I completely forgot that I had those stocks. For four years I was blissfully unaware that I was a stockholder and had money tied to the fortunes of Wall Street.

Fast forward to Thursday, January 31. I noticed that my brother was checking his Sharebuilder account. It suddenly dawned on me that I might still have one too. I sat down, powered up my laptop and quickly logged in. Much to my surprise and my brother's astonishment I discovered that my intital $100 investment had grown to $322, a 222% rate of return (55.5% per year). Needless to say, Activision had done well. Upon further investigation we noticed that the stock had split several times and the price had consistently increased from around $8 per share to more than $25 per share. All I can say is "Sweet!" I am, apparently, a modern-day Midas, producing virtual gold from all I touch (or at least my forgetfulness allowed the stock to ride out the normal ups and downs of the market)! The only question left is what should I do with the money? I've been wanting to waste $350 on an XBox 360 for quite some time and this would seem to be the answer to my prayers. It is, after all, money that neither Julie or I even knew we had. However, ever since I've been married I've felt the need to adopt more responsible spending habits. I therefore pose the question to you, my faithful readers: How should I spend my new found wealth? Post your vote to the right, but hurry: I don't know how long I can keep myself from running over to Best Buy!

There's A Reason It's Called Gross Anatomy

For those of you that I have yet to complain to regarding my upcoming tests, I thought I would share a brief glimpse into the life of a first year med student who is still struggling through his anatomy class. I would like to remind my readers that I am very grateful for this experience; I have the opportunity to examine a human body in excruciating detail. As a matter of fact, I will most likely never do this again, since physicians generally avoid opening chests and skulls just so they can poke around in them and see what everything looks like. However, sometimes there are days that have me wondering if I'm just a little bit crazy. Today was one of those days.

Our schedule for the day had us in the anatomy lab at 10:00 a.m. We picked up where we had left off on Friday and began to trace the pathways of the muscles and nerves in the eye. We had removed the brain on Thursday, discovering an abcess of some kind in the right frontal lobe. I digress, however. Today we had to locate the inferior oblique muscle of the eye. To do this we made an incision immediately inferior to the eye (just underneath the lower eyelid) and began cleaning away the covering layers of fascia and fat. It was while doing this that I realized how disgusting dissections can be. Here I was, pulling stringy, oily gobs of fat out of an eye socket, tossing them into a metal bowl, with my face only inches away from a cadaver that is chock full of formalin and formaldehyde. Just thinking about it now makes me a bit uneasy (although the worst day for grossness wasn't today; that would go to the lab where we removed the lungs and discovered a mush of lung tissue and cadaver juice in the thoracic cavity that we had scoop out using our gloved hands)! To top it off, after spending two-and-a-half hours in the labs, the smell follows us throughout the day. It's in our clothes, hair, and skin. I can honestly say that, while I do enjoy my intimate knowledge of the human body, I will be happy to have this experience behind me. I find that it's similar to my feelings regarding Army Basic Training; it's a good experience that I'm glad I will have under my belt, but I don't want to have to do it again. I do sometimes worry, though. Who wants a doctor that doesn't really like anatomy?